Well, life pretty much just... sucks. Might be seasonal affective disorder, might be bipolar disorder, or might be just blatant depression.

But right now, at this very moment, the flux of my life seems to have hit a definite low, transversing even farther than the usual oscillation.

But hell, what can I do? Shouldn't expect to be happy. The world doesn't quite work like that, I'm afraid. As it seems that whenever I'm genuinely happy, everyone around me isn't, and when I'm not, everyone is. Ah well, I guess I just need to suck it up and be the amicable martyr yet again.

Well, nothing all that 'new' to report. Moved to sleeping pills, 'cause the Doc thinks it'll make a big difference in the fact that it hurts for me to move (on good days). As well, if they don't work, he's moving me to antidepressants. Great, hey? I know I'm just ecstatic when I live my life out of a pill bottle. It'll just make me shit so many rainbows.

Anyways, time for me to go take said little blue pill (looks strangely like Viagra, but doesn't have at all the same effects), and head off to bed. Who knows, might even have another episode of sleep paralysis. Basically, it's where you're fully awake, but are completely incapable of moving. And, the fun part about it is that it's usually accompanied with either an incredible malaise, or what would generally be referred to as a 'shit-yourself-scary' feeling.

</sigh> Talk to you all later. Not like anyone will even read this, much less care.